It's easy to be nostalgic; especially as a stay-at-home-mom. I walk around the house, and I am surrounded by things that remind me of what has been: photos, outgrown clothes, discarded toys, artwork...It's easy to get drawn into the memories attached to those items. I often feel like daily life was a little easier when our boys were tots. We had a rhythm to our days, and I usually influenced that rhythm. Now we have school, homework, piano lessons, swimming lessons, sports, team parties, birthday parties, play dates...I'm no longer in complete control over our time, and we can no longer spontaneously take off on our adventures that we enjoy. Our boys have commitments, we have commitments, and I feel squeezed (as my sister would say). When I look back, I don't immediately remember how hard it could be. Lack of consistent sleep, diapers, illnesses, isolation, worry over developmental milestones, none of these things are on the tip of my brain.They're buried behind the memories of cuddling in the rocking chair, singing sillies songs and the smell of freshly washed baby hair.

I have found myself going beyond nostalgia, venturing into something that resembles being stuck in the past. When I get to this place, it is hard for me to live the full life that I am meant to live; right now. I have had to learn that I can look back, honor what was, and then be present in what I have now. These times are special too, and these times will be remembered clearly by our boys. Sure, the love and care they were given as babies made up their strong foundation, but they don't clearly remember those times; not like I do. They will remember what happens now; how we choose to spend our time now. And I find that more rewarding than I thought I would. There are things I can do with my kids that I could not do with them when they were teeny-tiny. We can have discussions, we can make plans, we can go almost anywhere with a limited amount of planning. They can tell me they love me, and I them, and we can know that we mean it. I can hug them, and cuddle them for short periods of time, and they will remember.Yes, it can be difficult now too; I don't have rosy colored glasses. The challenges look different, they feel different, but if history is any indication, these challenges will morph into something else in a short time.

After dinner the other night, I asked the family if anyone would like to go for a walk. Harry said he'd rather go for a run with me. Artie said he'd rather play hockey with Mike. Harry and I planned to start running together in the late spring, but since it wasn't too frigid, I decided we might as well start now. Of course the pace was slow, and of course we walked on and off all the way up to his school, but it was one of the most satisfying runs I've had. We decided to take a quick break and hit the playground. After giving Harry a few starter pushes on his swing, I hopped on the one next to his. The air was cold, the moon was getting brighter, and we were swinging; just me and my not-so-little, but little in my heart, boy. I can't remember what we were talking about, but we were talking, and laughing, and enjoying now. 

So much for a weekly commitment! I clearly blame Mike. Ha! Actually we've all been uncommonly busy. Harry and I finished the musical at the end of March, Artie started floor hockey on Saturday mornings, Harry is back in swimming lessons, both boys started gymnastics on Tuesdays, and Mike began a new position at work. All good things, just more layers of busyness. Artieisms: The other day, I overheard him playing with his miniature Star Wars guys. He had them pack into the old Fisher Price airplane my mom delivered. I listened closely and heard him say,"Those guys in the back are really nauseated." 98% of adults would incorrectly say nauseous... Harryisms: As we were driving to church on Sunday, he started a conversation about armies. It went something like this: H: So God probably doesn't want us to fight wars, right? Me: I think you're right. H: Yeah, because he wants all his people to live for as long as they can. Me: Yes. H: But God can't control the world anymore. He can only control the weather. Oh Harry. We'll get more consistent again, I promise. But if we don't, it really is Mike's fault. ;)

We are going to be walking in the American Heart Walk to raise money toward the elimination of heart disease.  Please click on the following icon to contribute to the cause.  Thank you so much!

With Frog in Hand

The other day I was going through a basket on my nightstand, and I ran across a piece of bright purple paper. In the middle of the paper I had glued a picture of a child's dirty hand holding onto a frog. I had written in the corner, "Be present. Appreciate the surprising, every day moments. Love in the way people receive it." No doubt, this was an "assignment" I had done for my weekly moms' group, probably more than a year ago. Our facilitator was a vibrant, artistic, reflective woman named Deb. Every week she had projects organized for the moms; specially designed activities to get to the core of our parenting, our faith, ourselves. All around our house, I have these little pieces of our weekly meetings; usually brightly colored, always meaningful. These pieces are precious to me because of the time I spent with my friends sharing, supporting, praying, contemplating. They are even more precious to me since Deb passed away in October. Her life and her death have had a profound influence on our family. I am so grateful for all the little Deb treasures I keep discovering.

We are still in the midst of the Mite hockey season. Harry now practices two weeknights on outdoor rinks. I was not prepared for the number of practices per week, nor was I prepared for the various pieces of equipment he would need. I was especially not prepared for the time Artie would spend WATCHING his brother practice. He chooses to go almost every time, mostly because of the subculture that surrounds the siblings of the players. There are treats to be purchased, new bathrooms to explore, and the possibility of snagging an electronic device from a parent in order to play a game. Artie has been a trooper, and I'm impressed with his ability to just "hang" at the rink. Some day it will be his turn...

Of course with all these practices and important games, Harry has come to fancy himself quite the player. He has asked if he can "sign up for the Gopher hockey team." It almost breaks my heart to look at his huge, expectant eyes, with him fully expecting me to jump on the phone to call coach Lucia. Maybe we'll have him ask the players themselves next week when we skate with the Gophers at Mariucci Arena. Mike is off getting our skates sharpened so that we don't fall on our rumps in front of the hot shots. I think I had a similar nightmare one night...

Thanks for reading,
Kristi

Yesterday was Hockey Day Minnesota 2012.  Harry had an outside game against Richfield.  It was a great day for hockey; sunny and about 5 degrees.

A Commitment ?

I don't remember making this commitment (Mike here, obviously).  Since when were people allowed to do New Year resolutions on another person's behalf?  Seriously, I want an appointment with the authorities that govern resolutions!

Well until my resolution appeal is reviewed, I better follow through with my 'commitment'...

Both of the boys are doing extremely well with skating.  Both are taking lessons and Harry is playing hockey.  The only downside is that the weather this year, so far, has been horrible for outdoor skating.  We are going to head out later today, which will only be the second time outside this year.  Here is a video of the first time.  Cheers, and Happy New Year.

A Commitment

So, in an effort to stay more connected with family and friends, Mike and I are going to commit to updating our blog at least once a week. Let me rephrase that. I am committing to either Mike or I updating our blog at least once a week. I haven't told him yet...Okay, I just did, and he said, "It sounds-fun."

The latest changes in our lives have mostly to do with our boys. Harry started Kindergarten this year, and Artie started preschool. I have 7.5 hours of "free time" per week. I KNOW, right? What can I possibly do with all that time? It ain't easy, but I fill it right up. At first it felt strange to be without both the boys, but I eventually adjusted. I suppose I should mention that Harry is in half-day Kindergarten, which means he is at school for 2.5 hours, and I volunteer in his classroom once or twice a week. He probably sees more of me than before...So really the adjustment shouldn't have been much, but it was for me. I was accustomed to being with my boys every day, all day. When Harry went to preschool, it changed a little, but now with both of them gone, it feels very different. I am suddenly faced with the realization that I have to recreate what I am during the day. For the last six years, I have been completely focused on being wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Anything else was just a short-lived distraction. It took me by surprise that I had lost myself somewhere in between giving birth and becoming the Tooth Fairy. More on that another time...

So the second big change is our entry into the world of mite hockey. I will admit I was intimidated at first, not coming from a hockey family, not even watching hockey until my second date with Mike. (I had some pretty definite stereotypes established, I admit.) Luckily, Mike knows what he's doing, I have been proven wrong, and Harry is having more fun than I imagined he would. His skating is getting better, and he's becoming pretty muscular. Oh, and the hair. He hasn't had a haircut in four months because he's trying to grow "Hockey Hair." Unfortunately this recent style change directly coincides with a lice outbreak in the other Kindergarten classroom. Mike and I spend a fair amount of time examining his long locks for any sign of the enemy.

Artie. He is a ball of energy and emotions unlike anyone we've ever seen. He's enjoying his preschool very much, and learning how to get along in a large group. He's found a new best friend to replace "Funny Eli" from last year. Yes, that is what he called him. I don't know if the child was particularly funny, or if he just simply laughed at everything Artie did. Once of the best things about Artie's preschool is the music. He comes home almost each time with a new song. Usually the words get a little mixed up, but that's part of the charm. This fall, Artie played floor hockey through the YMCA. Mike was excited to coach his team, but as most things go with four year-olds, things change rapidly. Artie spent most of his time sliding on his knees, and performing various victory celebrations even though his team scored two goals in seven games. He couldn't have been happier, especially when his Lenz aunts, uncles, cousins and nana and papa came to watch him. He really pulled out some of his best facial expressions and moves. Mike has paved the way for the discussion about no longer coaching floor hockey.

I'm looking forward to getting this blog back up and running. Who put ducks on our homepage? Seriously. I have some work to do.

Blessings,
Kristi